The old me made lists and had a plan with a capital P for everything.  My motto – Plan your work (what ever that might be) and work you Plan.  This past year and two months I have not checked one item on any list I may have made, nor have I executed one plan. Even though my son was a 41 year old man with a family, my life was planned for when he could make time for me.  My work life was planned around his care when he was an infant, child, and even and especially during his teenage years.  Social life same thing and then when he grew up with a life of his own, mine was planned to run along side by side his life so that we would collide every week for a walk or phone call or a family visit.  All my plans unconsciously hinged on what his plans might be.  So we would see our only child. He probably felt lots of pressure being an only child.   During the past couple of years, in an effort to come out from under his mothers clutch,  he urged me “to go do something”.  If I had questioned him closely about what exactly he meant the “something” was I may not have been with him when he most needed me, when he became ill.  No regrets